In class we've talked quite a bit about Facebook and we also talked about establishing relationships through online dating. One thing that we didn't really talk about was the effect that Facebook can have on relationships after they've been established. I also thought this was relevant since we have a couple classmates heading for marriage in the near future!
I found this article on Google News...
Click here to read
In the article, a minister recommends to all of the married couples of his church that they should cancel their Facebook accounts. He says he has seen many issues caused in relationships because of Facebook.
These problems often stem from little things such as adding an ex as a friend.
He has also suggested sharing passwords with your spouse, which I assume was suggested under the assumption that then there will be no secrets.
I'm just curious to see what you all think about this. I've definitely heard of situations where people have seen things on Facebook and gotten upset and it ends up causing a big fight. Deleting Facebook could be an easy way to avoid potentially bad situations.
Personally, I think that Facebook has many benefits for its users and people shouldn't have to give those benefits up just because their partner feels insecure. I feel like if you don't hide anything and have open communication about things that bother you on Facebook, then the problems can be easily resolved. Facebook is just another social situation that married couples can be a part of. You don't stop going out in public when you get married just because there are other people that your spouse could "check out" (and we've all heard stories of that turning into fights as well).
I'm not really sure how I feel about the sharing passwords situation. On the one hand, it seems like a violation of privacy, but on the other hand, you shouldn't have anything to hide.
So, what do you guys think? Are there other problems that having Facebook could cause?
Ashley or Rachel...will you delete your Facebook after you're married or will you just work through any problems that may arise?
I think this is really interesting. Especially what the article says about password sharing. What if it's something related to an ex? Your feelings would be hurt. I know my fiance has kept the same passwords for things for ages...like his e-mail password hasn't changed since high school (which I'm pretty sure isn't that safe). While he's mentioned a password or two and typed them in front of me, I've never remembered them. I feel like if I wanted to snoop, he'd just let me snoop.
ReplyDeleteI plan to keep my facebook account but just use it less. I mainly use it to keep up with friends who don't live near me and to kill time when I'm bored. I'll get to spend more time with John and should probably be busy with work and school so hopefully there's no time for facebook! But because I'm moving so far away....I mean I've never lived outside of Virginia so being permanently away from my parents, friends, and relatives will leave me depending on facebook to keep in touch once my friends scatter!
Personally, I think the suggestion to get rid of your Facebook account once you get married is...ridiculous. I agree with Kayla - interacting on Facebook is just one more form of social interaction. I mean, we would think it was ridiculous if a spouse/partner didn't want us going anywhere socially alone, in case we ran into an ex or met someone interesting. You just gotta trust your partner to some extent. I think having a partner who limits your social interaction with others is more of a danger sign than keeping your Facebook account!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the password thing goes...I've lived with my "boyfriend" (seriously - he's kind of old to be a boyfriend) for over 10 years, and the only passwords of his I know are the ones that unlock the computer and the TV (the one that sets the parental controls). If I had to remember his passwords on top of mine that would be a hopeless cause. If I need access to his accounts for some reason, I'll ask! If he doesn't want to give it to me...that's when I'll start worrying, but not before.
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